Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Legend in His Own Mind-5

September, 1980

Dear Lázaro,

Something very odd happened to me the other day. I was driving down Hollywood Boulevard to go do the show when I see this guy hitchhiking. I picked him up. I mean he looked so pathetic standing there. And he must have been roasting wearing all that leather.

As I'm driving him to his destination, he keeps telling me how hot it is outside. He keeps asking me to touch his skin to feel how hot it is. Somehow that didn't feel right. I mean he was a stranger. He kept insisting and I kept declining. Finally he tells me to drop him off at the next corner.

I don't understand. That wasn't where he had told me he needed to go. Isn't that strange?

Then another day I went to the Egyptian Theatre in West Hollywood to see the sequel to "Star Wars." You know, "The Empire Strikes Back." You know I don't see very well to begin with and the movie had already started so the theatre was dark. I sat down quickly so that I wouldn't fall. I noticed that the seat was a little bit higher than usual but I figured it was a California thing.

All of a sudden a man yells out, "Get off me, you punk!" I screamed out loud 'cause I was so scared. The manager came by and accused me of sitting on top of this man on purpose. He said they didn't permit hustling in his theatre. And they threw me out.

I was so upset. They didn't even give me my money back. And how was I hustling anybody? I sat there by mistake. I didn't mean to block his vision or disturb him.

Some people can be so unreasonable. But that’s okay because it will give me a good anecdote to tell Johnny Carson when he interviews me.

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