I'm so glad to hear that your tenure is finally up. It seems like forever that you've been there. I'm sure it feels the same to you. So Irene is coming stateside with you? That's fantastic! I'm dying to meet her.
Maybe you can come down and see the show that I'm choreographing. It's my first time. I'm no Gene Kelly but I'm enjoying it. I'm working with this mother/daughter combo (Sugar and Candy Cane) and this young break-dancer (Fausto) who specializes in "The Worm." That's this new dance where you throw yourself on the floor face first and start wiggling around up and down. It looks suicidal.
I'm also teaching aerobics part-time at a condominium complex. I still remember all of Ms. Fonda's routines. My ladies have already dubbed me "The Executioner." They got me this T-shirt that says "Stomach In." They said that way I could just point instead of screaming it every two seconds.
The masseuse is constantly offering me a free massage. Well I finally took it. I really never have the time 'cause I'm always running out to rehearsals and besides the idea of being touched all over by a stranger doesn't appeal to me. But Plexus is a fellow employee. He's Brazilian with an olive complexion on an incredibly toned body.
I'm laying there under this towel and he starts rubbing me with this smelly lotion that he says is supposed to relax your muscles. I'm sure it keeps vampires away too. As he's moving around the table, he brushes up against my hand and I could swear that he has an erection. I can't really tell 'cause he wears the tightest shorts and he seems to be extremely well endowed.
He said, "Excuse me!", 'cause he accidentally rubbed his crotch over the back of my hand.
I said, "It's okay!" trying to be polite.
I don't know if it was a language barrier but he took this as acquiescence on my part. He opened up his fly and took it out. I wasn't wrong about the endowment. I don't think I've seen anything that big. But I did not come in here for that. But it was being offered. I didn't want to offend him. I mean, I had to work with him. But that thing was huge. What could I do with it? Throw it over my shoulder and burp it?
Not another day went by that I didn't go in for a massage.
Hector gave a costume party and I went. With Romero. Yes he's still with my cousin but he told me that he had always had a fantasy about being a harem boy and who better to be his master. My knees were weak when I saw him. The little vest barely closed around his muscular brown chest and revealed his ripped stomach. If the turban hadn't been so big that it made him look like a Q-tip, the outfit would have been perfect.
Arcadia decided to go as Annie Lennox…except she went a little crazy with the hair dye. It streaked her whole scalp. Now it looked like she had been in a major car accident. She was desolate. She was dressed in male attire and had her hair slicked back and had no idea what to go as. All of a sudden she goes into my drawers and takes out a pair of rolled up gym socks.
"I know. I'll go as a transsexual mid way through the operation."
She took off her shirt so that her breasts were exposed and inserted two pairs of socks into her pants. This thing looked like a python. Or my masseuse Plexus.
Dainty, being the diva that she is, went as Agnes of God. Except he decided to drag the baby with him...on his umbilical cord. He painted this little doll all red and tied her to a string that went under his habit. It was the grossest thing you have ever seen.
Conrad was nowhere in sight and I didn't ask. Hector made it very clear that he considered me a kid. Shades of
I should charge Rumba for the training I'm giving this kid.
Not that Rumba was the inexperienced ingénue she pretended to be. She had been married in